Black Bat Presidential Update

Newer news:

Emergency Powers called in.

Because of Alex's "rabble rousing", I have been forced to call in my emergency powers.

If only to protect your precious pepoles rebublic of black bat.

From corruption and Ultimately destruction these are dark times for our people but, as always I will pull us out of it.

The following measures will be taken, in the interest of the state.

1: The password that protects the official voice of the peoples republic of black bat will changed.

2: All rebel voter's will be considered enemies of the state

Rebellion begins.

The evil leader of the Slave Labour party, Alex, has begun a rebellion aginst the good and fair President of Black Bat, Jared. When asked about this, he mearly said

'I don't belive that an unjust President should "rule" Black Bat due to an opinion poll. You would be wise to join this nobel cause. LET US GET JARED OUT OF OFFICE!'

'This is ridiculous!' said Jared when he heard of this news. 'I am a moral and honest President. Why would you want to get me out of office? I can help you all.

An opinion poll has been put up to show this foolish man that the people of Black Bat have their trust in JARED ALONE! Have your say here.

Older news:

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Should Black Bat be a Democracy?
Yes 3 (25%)

No 9 (75%)

12 Total votes Well, as you can see the majority of you have rightly put your trust in your new "President for Life" Jared, and I won't disappoint you. From today, the sixteeth day, of the ninth month, of the two thousand and fifth year of Christ some changes will happen: 1: All blackbat elections are for entertainment purposes ONLY and have NO effect on the leadership of the BBI. 2: Excepting myself, all leaders of parties will now manage a part of blackbat and their parties will be refered to either, in past tense or as Subsidiaries. The folowing parties have new jobs: "More Better" is in charge of: gossip, games, statistics and food. Slave Labour is in charge of: weapons, compititions, top buys and moon goods. The former BBI, are in charge of everything else, and of these subsidiares. 3: The Party formerly Known as "Black Bat Islands" will know be known as "The Saviors Of Black Bat." 4: The BBI will now be refered to as "The Peoples Republic Of Black Bat" 5: When talking about me or to always use the most appropriate of these terms: "us","we" or "the people". 6: I am now the embodyment of the oppinion of the people and as such I may overule any other oppinion, legal or otherwise.

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Fuzzy Inc. disbanded

Now the More Better party

The party that we all know and presumembly, "love" has been disbanded.

But that does not mean Michael has, "I was a bit disappointed about the lack of seats I aqquired, it was probaly due to my lack of campaigning"-said Michael when interviewed this morning.Of course the only reason Michael wasn't around to campiagn was because was in Zimbawe at the time of elections, overseeing blackbats new "industry relations" plan. Next time around we can probly expect at lot from Mr.Fantastic (Michael)

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MICHAEL REVEALS

Alex's dirty little secret

Doctor Trent Barrett does not exist! Thats right Alex's so called "expert" is actually a figment of his overactive imagination says research done by Doctor Von Fake-un-furter,

a REALly fake person who says that Alex has Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia? Would you want a president who's crazy? I wouldn't.

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Alex reveals: Election rigged!

Who would have guessed? Jared rigged the election. This is the claim of Alex, who lost the Presidential election after Jared took all of Jono's votes. But, according to Alex, the law that Jared stated, "The votes of an offending party shall be given to the party in charge" did not exist before the election. His concerns were researched by Dr. Trent Barrett, and he says:

"Alex's claims are correct. I have investigated comprehensively through older law books and instituted the fact that there was never a law that states anything of that nature.” Alex is angry with this and is preparing some laws of his own for the next election. Alex also states that:

“Jared has won nine consecutive elections. This is an indication of rigging!’ We’ll just have to see at the next election.

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Black Bat Updates.

Hello readers, it's ok it's your loyal president and founder of Black Bat here, Jared with great news for you guys.

I plan to add new content at least once a week (when possible) from now on and not only that, but also improve on all our existing content.

However I need your help, if you see a mistake on this site PLEASE post your concern on our "new and improved forum".

I also plan to make all content new and then old so you can see new content first!

Black Bat will also be cleaned up eg: catches (*,t,^...) will appear at the bottom of the page Instead of anyware.

So watch out for new content soon.

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Alex spoon feeds public.

Have you been blindly listening to Alex's opinion every week?

Until now the presidential update has been written, solely to reflect, the views and oppinons of high ranking members of the Slave Labour Party or SLP.

When confronted about this SLP leader Alex Jackson said "I thought people liked to be fed,

I don't want to create an opinion famine."

which, if you read between lines means "most of my readers are SUCKERS!"

Luckily the BBIP or Black Bat Island party is here to help you guys out, again.

However If we have to worry about elections all the time this could happen again.

So remember vote yes in the government poll

Black Bat Islands, geting things done

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Jared against democracy.

A righteous cause. According to Jared of course. ‘Why would we want those filthy “peasants” running the country, and not the person voted to lead them!?’ says Jared, to outraged citizens. Jared’s idea is to start up a new and powerful, left wing, dictatorship. Slave labour party will be against this for sure, especially seeing as they have new election rigging tricks. Jared has won the last three elections in a row, as says that the elections are a waste of time. ‘If I keep on winning, why bother voting.’ Yes sure Jared. Let’s give you more power to commit your evil tricks.

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Alex gives green light to removal of minimum wage.

While people are most unhappy when election promises are broken, this latest fulfilled promise is sure to cause upmost discontent. The slave labour party have defended their actions by saying: “Why should people who do less work still be paid. You should be paid according to how much effort you are putting in, and how much Black Bat wants to pay you.” In Jared’s words: “You voted for me, according to this promise. Everyone complains when I break an election promise, but you still complain when I keep one! Will you ever give me a break?!” Well it looks like there’s going to be far more complaints in the “Black Bat weekly whine*.” So keep reading this section.

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Jared to put Black Bat tax on pensions.